Some mothers do ‘ave ‘em.
These are some of the daftest criminals to grace Lancashire’s courts in 2018.
The year did not start too well for failed car jacker James John Beeston, who was jailed for 10 months after a bungled attempt to steal a man’s car.
The 28-year-old, of Mount Road, Fleetwood, had approached mechanic Andrew Sumner, 56, as he walked back to his car after having his lunch and pulled a bladeless knife handle on him on Abbot’s Road, Fleetwood last year.
But as Beeston rode across the junction of a road in Fleetwood town centre he collided with a red BMW, suffering injuries.
He was jailed after admitting affray.
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In February another amateur car jacker, Patrick Ward, was jailed for two and half years after a court heard he botched three robberies the same day.
Ward, 30, of Robin Hey, Leyland, met his match when a newlywed man whose Corsa he tried to steal fought back.
His luck did not improve when, hours later, brave victims at a business premises he tried to rob pulled off his mask.
A squabble with a friend led to offender Jason Longstaff, 46, of HMP Preston, being jailed for 11 months in August, after he burgled the home of his former friend – then sent him a text implicating himself.
Longstaff had been invited to stay at an address on Abbeyville Road, Squires Gate, South Shore, by the son of the homeowner, Preston Crown Court, pictured inset, was told. However, he was later forced to leave after an argument.
Around a month later, he burgled it twice, even stealing a Dyson vacuum cleaner.
But he gave himself away when he rang his former friend and threatened to hurt him if he indicated it was Longstaff who had committed the offence.
He also left his blood smeared on a broken window he had used to get into the property.
Another criminal learned bragging on social media about the profits of your crimes is never a good idea.
Fraudster Joanne Kendall, 26, blew more than a thousand pounds on a Alzheimer’s patient’s credit card on an Ibiza holiday and hotel stays.
But bungling Kendall, of Brun Grove, Blackpool, triggered suspicion when she posted a Facebook message openly boasting she had paid for her friend’s holiday and passport.
The HSBC card was stolen while the victim was being cared for at the Highgrove Care Home on St Annes Road, Blackpool – where Kendall’s mother worked – Preston Crown Court heard.
Mum-of-one Kendall, admitted five counts of fraud by false representation, and was given 100 hours of unpaid work, a rehabilitation activity, and compensation to HSBC which has since reimbursed the pensioner.